12/8/10

Prudential Christmas - No coverage for head melting.

This non-Norman-Rockwell-painted-but-very-Rockwellian Christmas ad comes to you from the Prudential Insurance company, circa 1950.
It shows us the Typical American Christmas Preparation Ritual. Christmas tree hogited in the corner to prevent one of it's daring escapes. Daughter performing the Native American "hey-a-ho-a"  star-shaped cookie dance. Son removing his foot to throw at his sister for making a mockery of his heritage. And the father, Arnold Ernst Toht (of Raiders of the Lost Ark fame) has just nailed his finger to the wall to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus.

Just look at his grimace of Holy Agony. Or, that could be Daddy Toht's best attempt at a loving smile. After all, he's looking forward to the best Christmas gift a Nazi could hope for: yet another ark of the covenant. This year Dinka got him an ark with appropriate History Club stripes and matching tie, so he can wear it to the annual alumni dinner without getting stared at. Doctor Jones won't have to tell Marion to keep her eyes shut this year. Toht will look ark-sharp!


"Oh tanenbaum, Oh tanenBAAAAAAAAAGGH!"
But Toht's got  to be careful what he does with his various arks, because prudential doesn't cover you for "acts of God". Talk about "Do not open until Xmas"! Keep the lid on those arks until you find a company that covers head melting, Toht! That's just being a smart consumer.


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